I have been the primary earner in our 20 years of marriage. While he did work, it never really went to into our expenses. It was treated as discretionary income and spent on family outings mostly. We were horrible with money, still are tbh, I just couldn't stay the way things were. I was enabling him to keep us both miserable and he had no intentions of changing.

Typically when a couple divorces, the scene is always the father is paying the mom to stay in the house and keep the child while he's working and gets himself a crappy apt at the other side of town. 2 households on one 1 income is not easy. How did these fathers do it? It's unbelievable the amount of effort it takes to keep this up. Honestly its no wonder people just stay married to the wrong people.

Update to my grocery shopping gig: It's coming it about $8/hour, after gas...it's better than nothing, considering the work hasn't been very hard. I figure I can earn more as I put more hours in.

I don't believe it either. After 20 years, I could no longer keep any hope of a better future, given his current and past attitudes about anything and everything. Throw in a couple kids and the years just kept coming. It was never a good time to leave.

I'm thankful I have a good job. Can't enjoy a penny of it though, as I am now also the sole provider for 2 households. So I have resorted to joining the gig economy to supplement my income. I signed up to deliver groceries. I haven't started yet but I'm hopefull.

Looking for extra ways to earn money outside of my job is now my main focus. I get tired just thinking about it. I'll save that for another post.

I'm hopefull for 2020, for some very nerdy superstitious reason, the number 19 is my number. I'm super pleased I clocked in this milestone this year 2019. My year supposedly.